“There will be days when your kids will be half-feral, scrounging for snacks and clean underpants because you are up to your eyeballs in a big work project - stop beating yourself up about it.”
Stacey Langford
Hello loves,
This week we have our third community GUEST post… we are so excited to share this with you.
We’ve had several people complete the short Google Form.
We are gently working through them and will post the responses in order of their arrival!
We’d love to invite you to write for us too. We are keen to encourage a diverse range of mothers and experiences here and have made it very easy for you to contribute. If you would like to write a guest post for us here at head here to answer three simple questions.
If you’d like to write us a longer piece on the topic of being, balance and/ or business in motherhood you can email us on companyoftwouk@gmail.com
Company of Two and You with Stacey Langford
Stacey Langford is a renegade farmer and reluctant homemaker living and working on a historic homestead in Canada's Fraser Valley.
Stacey writes about the rebellious side of Slow Living and helps overwhelmed entrepreneurs slow the heck down so they can build a life - and a living - they actually LOVE.
When did you become a mum and how long have you had a company of one and what do you do within it?
I had my first child in 2011, a year after I quit my career to focus on my own business and mothering.
From 2008 - 2014 I owned / operated a boutique marketing agency on a part-time basis.
Since 2012, I've owned a regenerative farm in Canada's Fraser Valley where I grow good food and community, write and teach others slow skills (soap making, backyard chicken keeping and organic vegetable gardening) and how to run their small business with slow values.
How has having children impacted your work flow, creativity, your inspiration and your ability to manage your work?
Becoming a mother was a the push I needed to say 'no' to an emotionally demanding career in human rights - one that was making me ill. So in that way, I likely wouldn't have been on this path if at all if I hadn't become a mum and shifted my focus.
I've been a full-time Mama while running my business, mostly on my own. My family lives far away and my husband has his own demanding company. Rather than 'balance' I've always sought integration wherever possible.
My kids have been part of my work life, rather than separate from it. Letting go of the pursuit of balance has made it easier to roll with the seasons of motherhood.
There have been days, weeks, heck - years - when my business took a back seat to the season my kids were in. Although its been frustrating at times, I've intentionally built my business to fit my life as a mother, not the other way round and the result is I've been able to be present for my kids while continuing to grow my business. It has meant slower growth at work, but 11 years in, I can say that slowness and acceptance has been key to my sustainability as a business owner.
As my kids have gotten older, I've had more freedom to intentionally structure my days and that has been great for me, my health, my business and my kids. I've also been blessed with a fantastic community of other mothers. Leaning on one another for childcare has been so good for all of us.
My kids have been great for inspiration - I keep going because I want to be home and present for them, not stuck at some job I hate 24/7.
There are sacrifices, but it means I get to do what I love AND be there to cheer at all their games, attend every recital and just BE here for them. I want my kids to see from my example that they can make their own way and that work doesn't have to be a slog or something you hate.
What advice would you give to a mum just about to start their journey with balance, being and business in motherhood?
Oh, be gentle on yourself! We are so hard on ourselves, especially in the early days of both business and motherhood.
There will be days when your kids will be half-feral, scrounging for snacks and clean underpants because you are up to your eyeballs in a big work project - stop beating yourself up about it.
THEY WILL BE OK. It's ALL ok. You aren't a bad mum or selfish for wanting to share your gifts with the world.
Show up as yourself, don't be afraid to make mistakes and to let both your kids AND your customers witness your growth - bumps in the road and all.
This is how we build resilient kids and strong relationships with our customers. The best gift you can give your kids is the opportunity to witness you building a, big, brave, deliciously imperfect, wholehearted life.
Thanks so so much to Stacey for guesting for us this week.
Over to you…checking in…
How are you this week? How’s life feeling?
From Claire - WOW! I’ve had the most perfect blend of adventure (with the kids) on Holy Island, catch up coffees with friends I’ve not seen for ages and work slots this week. I booked holiday club for my toddler for 8 hours and although it was hard to say goodbye I felt much more balanced than I did last week when everyone was sick.
I also launched a new venture
- it’s gone so so well and everyone has been so so supportive! We ended up on a detour yesterday - our main motorway was closed and we went to such a quirky cafe to meet my mum - I’ve seen the sign lots of times - you know the type! I’m still processing our experience there to be honest but if you’re ever in Northumberland you could look it up!From Laura - Loves, I’ll get straight to it: this week I ended up singing at a massive Royal British Legion event remembering 70 years from the war in Korea. I was sitting next to the Korean luthier, piri and danso players (I think I’ve got the right spelling: I did check), hearing from veterans who made me cry, watching sword and fan dances and not knowing what to think about the crimson and gold uniforms of the Royal Military Band. Tourists flocked to Horse Guards’ Parade to view the spectacle, as the floor manager issued calm commands into her walkie-talkie, and serving officers accompanied veterans hobbling onto the stage with sticks. It all felt unreal.
I ended up having a chat to my grandparents (yes, I still have two and yes they are quite extraordinarily amazing and yes the stories I could tell on their behalf - and I will) about war via iMessage, before bundling onto the train at Victoria, getting home, putting another load of washing on, playing “balloon hit” with my kids (with the leftover balloons from my daughter’s birthday party - the game is as it sounds), changing the baby’s nappy, making dinner, and taking a deep breath before solo bedtime x 3…
We’ve also had woodland walks, baked, argued over device time, I’ve had a fever for a day post the gig, my husband has been away for over a week and whilst technically is “home” is out all day working, had big chats about periods and emotions...it’s been a lot, as we get used to our summer holidays rhythm. But we are starting to find that kindness will always rise to the top, and that’s a wonderful thing. A holiday to the Peaks is coming. That’s another wonderful thing.
And the coaching, mentoring, composing and creating sides of my work during the summer holidays? My fingers are firmly shoved in my ears, my eyes are screwed tightly shut and I”m yelling “LA LA LA” when my brain tries to make me “fix it.” Time and patience will bring clarity, which is sorely lacking right now, and thats ok..
This life. What a privilege. And how are you? x
Building this community is such a joy and we are so keen to hear your voices in it. If you haven’t seen this post Company of Two - and you!
We invite you to contribute to our shared world via three simple questions in a google form.
Please don’t do that society-induced thing expected of women (and mothers) and think “who wants to hear what I have to say?” WE DO.
You are not meant to do this alone. Those feelings you have: we’ve had them too. In the thick of it right now? We see you and we send support, love and a gentle sunshine energy your way. Get outside today if you can. Drink the water.
Call a friend, or do comment here.
With love as ever,
Laura and Claire
x
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Ah, I loved this interview! Stacey sounds right up my street, I’ve gone over and subscribed and I’m making my way through her posts this afternoon while the football is on 🥰
Great interview! I especially loved this line: ‘There will be days when your kids will be half-feral, scrounging for snacks and clean underpants because you are up to your eyeballs in a big work project - stop beating yourself up about it’. 💗